THE SPOT

Tag: Loneliness

  • Epiphany Moments: 3 Life Lessons I Wish Someone Had Told Me Sooner

    Epiphany Moments: 3 Life Lessons I Wish Someone Had Told Me Sooner

    If you’re in your 20s trying to figure life out, you’re not alone. These are the life lessons for your 20s that nobody warns you about — the ones that only hit you on a cellular level after you’ve already learned them the hard way. Here are three epiphany moments that genuinely changed how I move through life.

    1. Stop Waiting for Others — Start Living for Yourself


    When I moved out of my parents’ house I was so excited. Out on my own. Out in the streets. I wanted to finally experience life without parental supervision. But I held myself back. I waited for someone to join me. So many nights I spent looking for an acquaintance or a friend to tell me whether they’d be able to come to that bar, the art gallery, the dance class, the swimming pool.
    People naturally don’t owe you their time. Never. But you should never hold yourself back because someone said no. Go to that concert. Go clubbing. Go on that trip. Carpe Diem.
    I started college in 2018. 2019 was the only year I really got — and only toward the end of it did I stop waiting and start living. And you bet your nice little behind, it was all disrupted by the Covid-19 pandemic. So don’t be a fool. Go do it.


    2. Keep Your Plans to Yourself (The Evil Eye Is Real)


    I used to share a lot about my life. The older I get, the more I believe in the evil eye. Now I only share when plans are definitive and the goal has been secured. If I cross the finish line — great. If I don’t, at least nobody will ask about it.
    I stopped oversharing specifically after my job search, which all but destroyed what little confidence I had to begin with. If you didn’t get the job, didn’t finish the project, just couldn’t get there for whatever reason — cry about it, cry some more, and then move on. Though I’ll admit, I haven’t fully moved on from a job I applied to back in December.


    3. Loneliness Is a Life Lesson Too — Learn to Sit With Yourself


    “You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person” — Oscar Wilde.

    And I think it’s true.
    I feel lonely. I felt lonely when I was single and I feel lonely right now, even though I have a partner. I believe it’s integral to who we are at our core to get to know ourselves. Because if you don’t know you, how will you ever know what you want — or don’t want?
    Solitude and loneliness — there’s a fine line between them. But I think at some point in your life you’ll have to experience both to grow.

  • From Heavy Hearts to Full Plates: A Journey of Self-Celebration

    A couple of years ago, I was crying in my bed, feeling like a loser. I hadn’t gotten the things I wanted, hadn’t found contentment, and life felt like a continuous spiral of unhappiness.

    I had just gone through a mentally draining, manipulative situationship. One night, after another bout of loneliness, I swore to myself: I would learn to enjoy my own company.

    I don’t always like myself. I don’t always enjoy my thoughts or how my brain works. But I decided I would damn well try to make the best of it.

    I kept searching online for an answer to the heavy heart in my chest and the sinking feeling in my gut. But the loneliness stayed, even in crowds — laughing among friends, sitting in class, waiting at the doctor’s office. It was there at dawn, dusk, night, morning.

    Some said I needed a boyfriend. Maybe they were partly right. But male attention always felt more like a band-aid than surgery — it never really touched the wound underneath.

    What was I supposed to do? Where was I supposed to go?

    That’s when the idea of self-dating crossed my mind. So, ready, set, Google.

    Oh man, I found a plethora of ideas. Single people, formerly married people, even married people — all talking about self-love, self-celebration, and self-finding.

    And honestly, what could be more important than finding, loving, and celebrating yourself?

    While I’m still learning how to love myself, I have found ways to celebrate myself.

    Join me on my adventures in self-celebration.

    First things first: food. Because what is life without food? Plain, boring, and barely tolerable.

    I started looking for restaurants in my city — Heidelberg. (Yes, the Heidelberg where so many people have lost their hearts; there’s even a whole song about it.)

    The first spot I chose for my culinary journey: Salerno’s (Brückenstraße 38, 69120 Heidelberg).
    Located in Neuenheim, Salerno’s is known for fresh, flavorful food and a charming atmosphere.

    I made a reservation online. And then I panicked.
    Would I look stupid all by myself? Would people stare at me, pity me?

    I told my therapist, who in her free-spirited way simply said: “You should still try it.”

    And so, I did.

    (As you can probably tell from my solo travel adventures, I have never once regretted it.)

    At Salerno’s, I had a pizza, a bit of wine. The waiter seemed perplexed that I wanted to sit in a corner alone, but funnily enough, he never forgot me — he came by quickly and often.

    I sat there, looking around at all the groups of people.
    And for once, I felt something different — gratitude.
    Maybe even happiness?

    I was proud.
    Proud that I went through with it.
    Proud that I didn’t let loneliness drown me, even if just for a twenty-minute dinner.

    I lived to see another day.
    And I’ll live to see many more.